elvis was a hero to most. elvis was a hero to most. i said elvis was a hero to most but he never meant shit to me, you see...

FUCK THIS CRAP!

TO HELL WITH IT ALL!

AND ABOVE ALL, SUPER SELF IMPORTANT OCHSNER AND SEARS EYE DOCTORS!

KISS MY ASS! WHO THE HELL HAS HOURS FROM 11-2:30, T-TH!?!

HEARTLESS SELFISH SENSELESS BASTARDS!

I HOPE YOU DIE OF THE WORST DISEASE THAT ONE OF YOUR PATIENTS HAS.

TOO DAMN GOOD TO SPEND FIVE MINUTES ON THE PHONE WITH A LONG TIME PATIENT THAT IS SCARED TO DEATH OVER SOMETHING THAT IS HAPPENING TO HIM.

DON'T BOTHER THOUGH. LET YOUR HALLWAY ASSISTANT BLURT OUT BLAH-BLAH-BLATHER TRYING TO MAKE EXCUSES AS TO WHY YOU ARE SUCH A JERKOFF! ACT ALL PALLY-FRIEND WHEN PASSING IN THE HALL THEN "WOW, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU." (suprised Seth Rogan face)

FUCK ALL OF YOU!

ALL DOCTORS SHOULD TAKE THIS ONE NOTE TO HEART;

DUMBASS, YOUR PATIENTS ARE, in most cases, SCARED AND KNOW NOTHING LIKE YOU DO ABOUT THE FIELD THAT YOU ARE IN. YET YOU STRUT ABOUT, SELF IMPORTANT IN YOUR LAB COAT AND LAPTOP. PUT YOURSELF IN YOUR PATIENTS SHOES. THEY ARE TERRIFIED AND ARE DEPENDING ON HELP FROM YOU. AND WHEN YOU CAN'T TAKE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES TO TALK TO THEM AND SOOTHE THEIR FEARS THEN YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE PAPER YOUR GOD DAMN LICENSE IS STAMPED ON! HIPOCRATES!?! HELL NO! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A STINKING HIPPOCRITE!

I swear by Apollo the Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods, and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art–if they desire to learn it–without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken the oath according to medical law, but to no one else.

I will apply dietic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.

I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody if asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.

What I may see or hear in the course of treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep myself holding such things shameful to be spoken about.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.

Now it's off my chest...