leopards - pt. 6 (une nuit a Paris...)

You've heard me heavy breathing on the telephone
My word they say that I'm belongin'
In a home for crazy people
But you know I don't belong there
I was an orphan and I couldn't help it
I'd been in and out of trouble
Ever since they left me
In a basket on the freeway*

wow. the sixth installment of  "as the leopard spots". i wasn't sure that i would get to this point without drawing it out another three or four episodes. but i have throroughly enjoyed writing it. i have been suffering with sort of a writers block since the beginning of the year. the spectre of Pierce's passing and an unusual amount of stressful baloney had rendered me unable to place words where i wanted. but there i go again, off on a tear. its time to get back to the main subject of this post.

disclaimer: over the last couple of years, i have developed a tendency to have crappy short term memory. if i misstate something here, or put it out of sequence, or whatever, keep that in mind... alcohol and drugs - neither on my plate anymore, coupled with being mental can take a toll on that mush in your skull, i must say...

when we last parted, i had just discovered that Lirette had been told that there was a stong possibility that i was her natural father. i was blown away! even though the suspiscions were there for over nineteen years, i was not prepared for this. the questions, answers and "what in the world?"s were popping up in my head as fast as i could think.

we started to communicate again, through myspace. she had questions, as did i. it seems that near to a year and a half ago, after the father she knew had passed, Mom L came to her. she was kind enough to tell her daughter that the man she knew as her father... well, suffice to say that there's a more than a good chance that he was not the bona fide pater puella. not being priivy to the conversation, i would have imagined that she was fairly upset and confused upon hearing this bit of trivia. it seems that i was the father of question.

my memory can be very inadequate when trying to recall phone conversations and such. to my best recollection, she spent some time trying to find me and the boys on the internet and around. She never could quite make the hookups for one reason or another. and i remained oblivious to the nature of it all.

back to where we were...post-Pierce. i had discovered that Lirette knew that the possibility was there. So we again began to talk. by internet and by text.

i was trying to figure out how i was going to break the news to Johnny and my parents. that tended to take care of itself, though. i had stopped by my parents' to pick something up on the way home from Gunfighter. i got what i needed and was leaving, when my brother, Matt, came running up to the car. He proceeded to tell me that i had better talk to Johnny. "Why, is something wrong?", i asked. he said that Lirette had talked to Johnny and told him of the chance that they were brother and sister. ok. not on my time clock, but it wasn't a wash out.

being happy about her newfound relatives, Lirette had posted an entry on myspace that made some comments about Pierce and Johnny and their familiar relationship. i was torn between cooling any of her enthusiasm over "finding" us, but was trying to be cautious for all parties involved, lest someone overreact in a way that would cause me to lose my relative cool... pun intended.

i contacted Johnny and asked him about it. he was torn between "attaboy" and "aw, shit". i could understand it. after all, he was going to have to face his mother when the news reached her. and that in itself could be a harrowing experience. he reiterated that thought and i agreed that we must be discreet.  i thought it prudent to contact Lirette and restate my fears. he would let her know about the post.

in addition, i had no idea what the state of her deceased father's family was or her relationship with them. in no way, shape or form did i want them hurt of embarassed. we agreed to that. it would be difficult enough to explain to the people that had to be told.

Johnny and Karen also thought that it would be in everyone's best interest to submit to DNA testing to determine the validity of the claims being made. i agreed, but i knew better. i was her father, of that i was quite sure, so i ordered a DNA test kit and waited for its arrival. when it came, i checked it out and decided that it would work. so i started to make the arrangements to meet with Lirette to get the swabs we needed to submit.

it was a Friday evening when the phone call came. Karen was not home, so i had no support group in the wings. the call was from Mom L. i explained that i was getting the paternity test very soon. she was uninterested in that. she wanted to ask me what my "intentions" were concerning Lirette. huh? intentions? laws, laws, Tom; m-o-o-n, that spells trouble. i hadn't even met my daughter yet, (in modern times), and here i was being asked what my intentions were.

first off, i really didn't understand the question, and told her that. she asked about what Lirette's place would be in my family line of inheritance. wow. now i was starting to get creeped out. not to mention, a bit angry at the question. i told her that i really hadn't thought of that either, since this just came about. she then told me that there were "legal ramifications" to Lirette. now i was really freaking out. what in Soul Coughings name is she talking about? then, out of the blue, she started hammering me with rhetoric about how horribly i treated my boys in the time right after their mother and i separated and what a terrible person I was. hmmm. something was starting to smell funny and i thought i knew where, or what wife's bottle it came from.

the "discussion" degenerated into an old fashioned haymaker arguement. flashbacks from my first marriage and divorce were appearing on the screen and it did not feel good. the only question i could ask that made any sense was, "Mom L... if i am such a rotten, no good son-of-a-bitch, then why the Hell did you tell Lirette about me in the first place?" why not just let her live with the beliefs that she was raised with? more yelling... more crap... me getting dangerously angry. Karen walks in. phone hangs up. i'm saved. Karen is my GREAT hero. without her, i would be cannon fodder...

my counselor advises me to eliminate discussions with Mom L or Wife A. they are counter-productive and only end with me grasping for the ativan. i decided that this was prudent advice and that all communications would be with Lirette.

i was really quite befuddled as to why Wife A was involved. i mean, conventional wisdom would say, "GUY creates LIFE with ONE. twenty years later, ONE tells LIFE real deal. LIFE happy and wants to meet GUY. ONE goes to Wife A and tells her the story of LIFE. according to them, GUY is evil monster who is at the root of all the worlds evil. his plans are already in place to steal all trust funds and jewelery and money that LIFE has. GUY ponders and says trust funds?  money? why is everyone mad at me? Wife A should consider that it took GUY plus ONE to make LIFE. how can it be all GUY fault? and above all, what business does she have piddling in this? she not mama. we not married any more. why does she talk bad to everyone? she should be happy for Johnny who gets a new sister. it is funny world we live in...

NEXT: AMBUSH AT THE PYRAMID

*Iceberg - The Original Soundtrack - 10cc - 1975